To my dearly beloved son

(Letter from Han Yi Joon to Jin Sol)

You are six when we first met. I did not know about you before then.

Your Mom and I had a brief encounter in Venice. Brief but sweet! We did not see each other again until seven years later.

I thought of her often during this time. I wondered what happened to her. Did she marry that oafish fellow who burst into her apartment that morning and punched me on the chin? She deserves better than that.

My life these seven years has been a blank. I drifted from one project to another, one affair to another -- pursuing a life without focus.

One day I saw your Mom again -- in the most unlikely place-- crouching on the floor of a restaurant. Your Mom has this knack of finding herself in awkward situations. Her doe eyes have the same beauty but have lost their sparkle. Seems life has not been kind to her. She tried to avoid me but I wasn't going to let her go again.

I needed her to help me with my restaurant (she's a terrific chef!) Actually I needed her to be by my side. Cha Eun Jae is the same stubborn, aggravating, contrarian, provocative, unreasonable, defiant and yet irresistible girl who followed me around and talked a lot in Venice. But she helped me find your Grandmama in Vicenza and she could cook spaghetti just like your Grandmama. Can you believe we once spent a whole day in the country because your Mom wanted to get some special garlic to cook something?

I was shocked when I discovered your Mom living with that fellow. I was even more shocked when I saw they had a son -- you. But your Mom said they were just living under the same roof and he was not your father, and I believed her. Why didn't she marry the father? I asked her. She gave me a funny look.

One day when I came looking for your Mom, I saw you playing in the front yard of your house. You are so cute, so sweet, so well-mannered -- a credit to your Mom. You remind me of myself when I was your age. But you are luckier than me because at your age I have already lost my mother.

Your Mom is driving me crazy. I have never felt this way about a woman before. She tugs at my heart-strings. I want to see her every day. I need her to be with me. But she is playing hard to get. She never listens to me. She doesn't care about my feelings. She calls me spoilt, selfish, arrogant, and unfeeling. She says I of all people have no right to judge her and she owes me nothing. I'm willing to accept her as a single mother, even pretend that you are my son. What more does she want? What more can I do?

Remember that day when I came to your house and you let me in? You were so tired you fell asleep on my lap on the bench in the front yard. Good thing your Mom soon came to my rescue. Fleeting emotions on her face ranged from surprise to tenderness to sorrow, ending in tears. Why was she over-reacting? I didn't move even when my thighs were numb from the weight of your head so as not to awake you.

It was like a thunderbolt hit me when I learnt that you are my son -- the son I never knew, the son your Mom raised all by herself. I cannot describe the emotions that raced through me in quick succession -- shock, guilt, joy, disbelief, fear, anger, ecstasy......A son! You are my son! How could your Mom have kept it from me all these years? I have lost all this precious time with you. I want to tell you at once, but your Mom says you need time.

During this waiting period I see you with that man all the time. You two are so chummy; I am so jealous. It should be me holding your hand. It should be me buying you ice-cream.

One day over dinner I could no longer hold it in. "Jin Sol, I am your Dad." Instead of flying into my arms, you burst into tears and hid in your Mom's bosom. Your Mom was so mad with me, but I didn't understand what I did wrong. I was just claiming my rightful place as your Dad.

I was willing to do anything for you and your Mom. I could give up everything, but your Mom, ever practical, asked how we're going to live. I could work -- that's the least I could do.

Everybody tried to tear us apart, but I could be as stubborn and tough as your Mom. I asked her to trust me; I would make it right for you both. I had a plan. I could save your Grandpapa's empire as well as keep our family together.

Your Grandpapa will love you. You are his first grandkid, his only grandson. He may look stern but he really has a soft heart.

Everything will be fine. Your Mom and I and you are a family. Nothing can change that; nobody can separate us. I want to make it up to you and your Mom. You are the most precious things in my life. You are the best things that ever happened to me. We'll take you to Vicenza to see your Grandmama. We'll revisit that place where your Mom and I first met and fell in love.

I love you, my son.

(Photo courtesy of Baidu JHJ Bar)